The most pivotal event in my life, should just be called the most pivotal events. Through out my life, I had learn that life is not fair, and to take what you can in you life, to make do. Its like that saying “when life give you lemons, you make lemonade”. I cannot say I am very good at it, but perhaps with more practice. My story began so long ago, that I can hardly remember.
They say that as a child, you can hardly feel the difference between your childhood and others. I would like to pronounce that as bullshit, and confirm that I did notice a difference, and yes it did confuse me even now, but my life just wasn’t something I was too curious about. Its like the sky is blue or the grass is green. Its just what happens, so very different from other people. Maybe my immigrant status had something to do with it, I was bullied as a child for it, but the most scarring moments had nothing to do with my status. Or that because I am an Asian, there is a set of double standard forced on me before I was even aware, or knew how to speak English. Or maybe it was just all the things, wasn’t it said somewhere, that everything is connected, in one way or another? I am often torn between disagreeing or understanding, the difference in my case being the former out of pure annoyance, while the latter was from contemplation. Over most of my life, I had become somewhat disillusioned with myself.
There was a very nice saying that I had read somewhere, stating that every dog has its day. And somewhere along my journey, I’d hit mine. I was no longer just making lemonade. Instead of just standing still to catch the lemons, I decided that maybe I was tired of lemonade. Maybe I wanted to try an orange for a change. Or an apple. I decided why stay, when you can run? After if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. But it wasn’t easy, when all your life you had been eating sour lemons. Somedays were just hard, but some days it gets better. Its not easy letting go, but you had to do so to find happiness. While life gives you lemons, you don’t have to accept them. Something I wish I learned earlier.